Why do they say "people don't change" when in fact they do? Is this an imposed stereotype?


Answer from: Slava Demish:
Former barista and blog editor for a coffee company. Running a fierce channel about...


People grow up. But some people who have been "working" character traits and behavioral habits remain the same. As you get older, you just learn to control yourself. By the time you get older, you don't see the need for it.

Answer from: Tatiana:
I love life...


"Before we continue, we must consider one objection that has probably already occurred to many readers. The assertion that an individual's style of behavior remains the same throughout his life will prove incomprehensible to many. But they will say that as time passes an individual accumulates experiences which inevitably change his or her attitudes. Well, keep in mind: every fact of this experience can be interpreted in different ways, and it is impossible to find two people who would make the same inferences from the same event. This is why we do not always draw lessons from our experiences. Getting older does not necessarily mean getting wiser! True, we learn to avoid some difficulties and develop a philosophical attitude toward others, but the nature of our behavior usually does not change from that. As we shall see below, the human personality employs all its life experience for one purpose. On closer examination it turns out that this experience must coincide with her life style, fit in the mosaic of her life principles. That we actually create our own life experiences is a proverb; each of us determines what we experience and how we experience it.
In everyday life, we observe how people draw whatever conclusions they want from their experiences. Here, for example, is a man who makes the same mistake over and over again. If you can convince him that he is wrong, he may react in different ways. He may say: "You're right, I'll take it into account next time. However, this is atypical. He is more likely to say that he has made his mistake so many times that it is impossible to get out of the habit. He may also blame his mistake on his parents or his education. He may complain that he was neglected as a child, that he was pampered too much then-or that he was abused. Whatever his excuses, whatever his alibi, he wants only one thing: to absolve himself of responsibility for later events. In this way he justifies his behavior and places himself beyond criticism. It's not his own fault. If he did not achieve his goals, it is someone else's fault.
Such people overlook the following: they themselves have made little or no effort to overcome their shortcomings or avoid repeating mistakes. They prefer to persist in their delusions and blame their shortcomings on unsatisfactory upbringing. They may resort to the same excuse throughout life. Every life experience can be interpreted in many ways, and very different conclusions can be drawn from it. Therefore, one should understand why, instead of changing one's style of behavior, one twists and distorts one's life experience to fit that style. The most difficult thing for a human being is to know and change himself."
Alfred Adler "Understand human nature".


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